BREAKINGOMAHA, NEBar Owner Vows To Get Serious About Inventory Starting Monday For 11th Straight Year
Standing behind a back bar he called "basically counted," owner Dale Rusk, 52, announced Sunday night that this time he was really going to get a handle on things.
"Monday. First thing. Clipboard, the whole deal," said Rusk, who has made the same announcement every Sunday since 2015.
At press time, Rusk had found the clipboard, which was propping open the walk-in.
Rotely fills in your count before you start, so Monday actually happens. See how it works.
BREAKINGTULSA, OKMan Who Ordered 'Something Strong' Visibly Shaken By Something Strong
Moments after leaning across the bar and asking for "something strong, surprise me," local man Kevin Marsh, 34, was visibly shaken Friday night by something strong.
"I meant, like, strong-ish," said Marsh, holding the glass at arm's length as though it had insulted his mother. "Like a strong vodka cran." Witnesses said Marsh took one sip, made a face usually reserved for parking tickets, and asked whether it "comes with a Sprite."
However, bartender Dana Reyes, 29, said the order went exactly as planned. "Every guy who says 'something strong' wants a Long Island that tastes like a Capri Sun," said Reyes, who has made the drink an estimated 4,000 times and seen it finished twice.
At press time, Marsh had ordered "something strong but, like, fruity" and was telling the man next to him he can really handle his liquor.
BREAKINGDENVER, COMan Leaves Bar Convinced Bartender Was Flirting After She Said 'Here's Your Change'
Citing a smile he described as "different," area man Greg Holt, 41, left the bar Thursday night fully convinced that bartender Jess Morales had been flirting with him after she said "here's your change."
"She looked right at me," said Holt, who has since told three friends, his barber and a stranger at a gas station about the exchange. "You don't say 'here's your change' like that to just anybody."
Sources confirmed Morales said the exact same words, in the exact same tone, to the 211 other customers who paid that night, including a man in a Steelers onesie and the Bud Light delivery driver. "I genuinely don't know which one he was," Morales said.
At press time, Holt had returned to the bar, ordered a water, and was waiting for the right moment to ask what time she gets off.
BREAKINGMIAMI, FLMan Explaining Bitcoin To Bartender Believes This Is Going Well
Leaning further over the bar with each sentence, local man Derek Shaw, 32, confirmed Wednesday that his 40-minute explanation of Bitcoin to bartender Rachel Kim was "honestly going really well."
"She's really engaged," said Shaw, as Kim restocked the same straw holder for the third time. "She asked me a question earlier." Sources confirmed the question was "do you want to close out?"
Shaw, who described his portfolio as "down, but in a good way," walked Kim through the blockchain, his Lambo timeline and why her tip jar "should really be a wallet." However, Kim said she was simply doing her job. "I nod for a living," she said. "I've nodded through divorces. I can nod through this."
At press time, Shaw had tipped $2 and told Kim it would be worth $40,000 by 2030.
BREAKINGBOISE, IDOwner Insists Bar Is Losing Money From Driver's Seat Of New Ram TRX
Speaking to staff through the open window of his brand-new 2026 Ram TRX, bar owner Rick Dalton, 49, warned Tuesday that the bar is "bleeding money" and everyone would need to "tighten up."
"Times are tough. Margins are razor thin," said Dalton, raising his voice over the truck's engine, which he had left running. "That's why, starting this week, we're cutting the second barback on Fridays."
Dalton explained that the bar could no longer afford "luxuries," a category that includes lemons, the good mop and the dishwasher's 50-cent raise, but not the matching floor mats, which he called "an investment." However, Dalton stressed that he, too, is sacrificing. "I'm only going to the lake house every other weekend now," he said.
At press time, Dalton had asked the closing bartender to "keep an eye on the truck" while he flew to Cabo to "think about costs."
BREAKINGPHOENIX, AZBartender Pretending Not To See Man Waving Card Enters Eighth Minute, Sources Confirm
Sources confirmed Friday that bartender Mia Torres, 27, has entered the eighth consecutive minute of pretending not to see a man waving his credit card at her from the end of the bar.
"She's good," said one regular, who has been watching the standoff like it's the playoffs. "She looked right through him twice. Didn't even blink."
The man, Brad Cole, 36, has escalated from waving the card to tapping it on the bar, holding it over his head and saying "excuse me, boss" loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. "I don't get it," said Cole. "I've been very visible." However, Torres insisted she was simply busy. "Fourteen tickets, a broken blender and a bachelorette party," said Torres, who was observed wiping a clean section of the bar for 45 seconds. "I'll get to him."
At press time, Torres had served three people who arrived after Cole, and the regular had started taking bets on minute 15.
